she woke up with a sticky ear
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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