What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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