I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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