why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i think i just lost a toe
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
