My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The air was thick with penises
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
