It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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