Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think your dad took our porno
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
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