I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
