part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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