his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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