We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
