if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
