brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
