this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
