I accidentally had phone sex last night
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
