i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
