maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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