just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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