I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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