Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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