Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
