Say something about gay babies.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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