do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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