READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
