This is not my ceiling
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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