I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
