Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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