i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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