There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
