we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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