the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Pooping to opera.
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