Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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