when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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