Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
