census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
