hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
