I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
