I heard we made out
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My balls are so social today.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Randomize