I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
