my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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