Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize