Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
