You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
