So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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