i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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