my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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