i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
