My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
