My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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