Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Umm I'm too high to move.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Randomize
