I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
