It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
