She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
