My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize