I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
