question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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