Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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