i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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