I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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