brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
